Spending Time on Yourself

You know how I said I’d be journaling all last week? Yeah, well that didn’t happen.

Here’s how last week went.

On Monday, my super awesome friends Ali, Christiana, and Jessica came to my house to sleep over. The next morning, we woke up at 3:30 to get to LAX. Our flight left at 6:25.

We got into Denver that afternoon and took a bus to Estes Park (why the heck am I giving you all these details???). ANYWAYS, we went on a Capstone trip for our leadership classes we’ve been taking that was in beautiful Estes Park. (P.S. Our friend Joseph from Oregon also came and he’s super awesome too.)

These classes are designed to be intense and this one is no exception. Almost all day for three days we were in sessions either listening to a lecture or collaborating with other students. On top of that, I was also trying to get registration up, attending meetings, and writing content for the CPE3 (the CollegePlus event I’m planning for September). And half forgetting that I have a blog and I’ve promised to post every day. I think I got no more than 5 hours of sleep every night (which I did that last semester and my body all but refuses to cooperate when the same need arises, HA!).

So there are the excuses for why I didn’t journal at all.

Okay. So my goal is to journal this week. My plate is still as full as it ever was, but I need to have times when I can just disconnect from the world and reflect on it. However, that takes discipline, something I’m really lacking right now.

Do you feel the need to disconnect like this and concentrate on yourself? One thing that kept coming up in sessions was the fact that I need time to recharge. Journaling provides a unique and purposeful way to spend time with God and to give myself time to relax and rebuild my energy.

If you are struggling in the same way, hopefully this post encourages you to do what you can to fix it! Comment below!




Finding Quiet in the Craziness of Life

Do you ever just have those day where your innards just feel like a six-way tug-of-war is going on inside? (Yes I just said innards.) Today was like an awesome version of it, but my stress levels have gone past the good stage and into the bad stage.

You know what I’m talking about? This morning I got several good emails that meant I could move forward on a project I’ve been really excited about. The response I got was way better than I expected, so my day got 500% better. But then all the “Okay, MOVE,” stress that went with that, plus planning for my trip on Tuesday, plus trying to do school, plus having to hang with the b**ch of Ebay today have gotten me all in a tizzy. A good one, because I’m excited about everything (except statistics), but I just need space.

My phone has been going off every other second because the girls and I are trying to figure out the last minute details for our trip. And I meant to be active on social media today because I’ve been trying to get better about that. And my 98 on my Bloglovin icon on my browser isn’t helping either.

Just as Statistics was starting to become more than I could handle, I stopped. I needed a break. I needed to just relax, do things I love, and feel like things are quiet again. I should probably throw my phone into my closet and leave it there for the next 30 minutes, actually.

Do you have these moments? I’m starting a personal challenge this week to journal regularly. I’m going to Colorado with some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life and I get to meet one of my heroes and I get to meet my coach and I get to meet new CollegePlus students and I get to experience Denver and I get to work on CPE3 stuff too! Like this will be one of the most memorable weeks of my life! So I’m giving myself the goal to journal at least three times this week. I think it will be good for me. I don’t normally keep on keeping on with journaling. It’s one of those things my mom always made me do that I hated. But I want to do it now to let myself relax, recoop, and remeasure my strength (how’s that for alliteration?).

What do you do to escape from the stress (good or bad) of life?

If you’re going to journal too, let me know in the comments below! I’ll do an update on how it went next week.

And of course, stay tuned for my new blog that will be launched hopefully next Wednesday! I just bought the domain today, so now I just have to build it. Can’t wait for you guys to see it!



100 Happy Days


Today I started another daily challenge (shoot me, shoot me now). If you haven’t heard of the 100 Happy Days challenge, basically what it is is a way for people to look for something good in their lives for 100 consecutive days. When you sign up for the challenge (here), you pick a preferred social media platform and promise to post a picture of something that makes you happy every single day. You can start whenever you want to and they’ll send you emails to keep you up on things. I would encourage you to sign up for the challenge! And if you don’t already, make sure you follow me on Instagram to keep up with my 100 Happy Days challenge. Tag me (@aubrystewart) so I can see your photos and follow you!

In other news, I’m beginning plans to move my blog to a domain. I knew I would do this eventually, and thought it wouldn’t come until next January, but I realized that it’s easier to move a smaller amount of followers to another blog than a larger amount. Hopefully that will be up and running within the next couple of weeks. Can’t wait to show you all that I’m planning!



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Let’s Talk

Let’s talk.

Do you ever feel so emotionally tired that you physically can’t do anything? That you get enough sleep and you still yawn? That getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day?

Okay, yes, that does sound like just a normal college student’s life. But you get the point.

For about a year and a half, it feels like it’s been one thing after another after another and nothing ever stops. I mean, let’s be real, I’m in my family where calamity is bound to follow you and you just probably just plan on your plans being ruined. I’m proud of it. I’ve lived a whole dang lot of life for one eighteen-year-old. And I look back at the things God has taught me and I’m thankful. So thankful in fact, I think, that God keeps giving me more. And more. And more.

About every three months for the past two years of my life, I’ve looked back at myself three months before and have been shocked at how far I’ve come in just a short time. It sucks, but I come out of it a stronger and more compassionate person.

But then there’s now. And I have no interest in being compassionate anymore.

I hurt. I hurt more deeply than I ever have before. Ever notice how we like to compare pain? Deep down inside, even as I’m preaching to the world that we shouldn’t compare our pain, I believe that my life has been harder than all of my friends’ lives. I make excuses for myself based on the tears I’ve been crying. I ignore God because I’m mad, and I feel justified.

I’m like Job I guess. I don’t understand why this had to happen or what it’s accomplishing by having happened. Like, seriously, what is the point? I thought I already learned this.

Are you in the same boat? Is your heart calloused and are your emotions cold? I’m afraid I really can’t say anything to make your pain go away, and you probably wouldn’t appreciate it even if I tried. Stop looking for solace in other human beings, or even searching because of the stark lack of it. Start systematically listening to God by reading His word. Make it of top priority in your life. He is a person who can have a relationship. And the really cool thing is, He’ll never leave you, ever. You can trust Him with everything in your life. He knows, but He wants to hear about it, so talk to Him. And remember this too (I stole this from my Washington Pastor)>> love Him for who He is, not just for what He has done. God is dynamic and has provided us with His living word, meaning, that’s how He talks to us (at least most of the time). Cry out to Him and have faith in Him. He can handle it.

And yes. Yes I was just talking to myself. But if you found that paragraph to speak to you, I have two things to say to you>> 1. It came from God, and 2. I’ll be praying for you.

Let's Talk



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Breaking My Own Rules

So I’m going to kind of break my own rules and not post something theological or philosophical today. This week has been jam-packed of stuff to do and I really don’t have anything prepared (again). I promise this week will be a lot better (seriously).

Well I saw this cover by Pentatonix of “Say Something.” For a while, I’ve been the skeptical person who thinks Pentatonix is so overrated and everyone is just going crazy over them because everyone else is. But I ran into this cover of “Say Something” (one of my favorite songs right now) and was quite impressed, so I thought I’d share. Comment below and let me know what you think!



On Bitterness

Hey guys! So it’s late, and I’m just posting this. My day has been filled with social media, marketing plans, skype, logo designing, video editing, and trip planning. Like seriously, what more could I ask for. Since I was a bad Christian and woke up at 9:30 (and noticed the snow falling outside), I decided not to try to get ready in 15 minutes and go to church late. My mom had told me about a sermon at our church in California on bitterness that our pastor had preached last week. Guys, it rung true. So since I really don’t have time to write a full fledged theological blog post (since those usually take days of pondering, and last week was crazy), I decided I’d share the sermon with you.

Click here to view the iTunes podcast.

The head pastor of Grace Baptist is David Hegg. Ironically, he grew up in Spokane (my other home), and actually, I noticed his Spokane accent come out a couple of times in this sermon (If you don’t know what that is, say “bed”. That is what all “a” sounds in “apple” sound like. For the longest time I thought Gonzaga was pronounced completely wrong).

If you’ve been following my blog since the beginning, you probably read this post on January 14. It was titled “Here’s to Endings” talking about a pretty massive ending in my life. The good news is, in the almost two months between that post and this one, I’ve come far. I don’t think about it very often, and I’m moving on. Sure, I’m still sad about it, but it’s not as fresh as it once was. Time heals wounds. The thing is, sometimes we think we’re healed, only to find that bitterness has dulled the pain, like a bandaid. I’ve been busy, and a lot has happened to me since January 14th and now, but I find that I’m using my busyness as an excuse not to take the time to let myself be soft. I promised myself that I would go deeper with God, and let myself cry. But both of those things have gone down in my list of priorities and that is not okay.

On January 14, I promised myself four things. Number three is the most important:

I want my faith in God to grow through this. It’s not an automatic process, it’ll take work. But already in the past few months (of coming to terms with the fact that this was ending), I have felt God’s love like never before, and it is completely unexplainable. And now I just want to go deeper, because I know God and I can.

know this stuff. But I don’t feel it anymore. And I haven’t let myself sit still long enough to be able to feel it.

So that’s my goal for this week>> To find shelter in God. Not songwriting. Not projects. Not social media. Not even good friends. I must bring myself to a desperate place in order to hear God. Because I’m desperate. Always. Even when things are going well in my life and even when I have fourteen different things on my ToDo list. No matter how high and mighty I ever feel, I am in desperate need of God’s unchanging grace.

Thank you Jesus.

What is your goal for this week? Comment below!



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Our Journey With God

FEB 23//

DAY 054 | // Why I'm Glad We Have to Deal with Homosexuality

The truth is that our journey with God isn’t really about living and He never claimed it would be. It is, and has always been, a gradual death to everything we love outside of Him.

Angie Smith

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TARYN! I love you more than anything and I hope you have an AMAZING day!!! Love you best friend!