On Bitterness

Hey guys! So it’s late, and I’m just posting this. My day has been filled with social media, marketing plans, skype, logo designing, video editing, and trip planning. Like seriously, what more could I ask for. Since I was a bad Christian and woke up at 9:30 (and noticed the snow falling outside), I decided not to try to get ready in 15 minutes and go to church late. My mom had told me about a sermon at our church in California on bitterness that our pastor had preached last week. Guys, it rung true. So since I really don’t have time to write a full fledged theological blog post (since those usually take days of pondering, and last week was crazy), I decided I’d share the sermon with you.

Click here to view the iTunes podcast.

The head pastor of Grace Baptist is David Hegg. Ironically, he grew up in Spokane (my other home), and actually, I noticed his Spokane accent come out a couple of times in this sermon (If you don’t know what that is, say “bed”. That is what all “a” sounds in “apple” sound like. For the longest time I thought Gonzaga was pronounced completely wrong).

If you’ve been following my blog since the beginning, you probably read this post on January 14. It was titled “Here’s to Endings” talking about a pretty massive ending in my life. The good news is, in the almost two months between that post and this one, I’ve come far. I don’t think about it very often, and I’m moving on. Sure, I’m still sad about it, but it’s not as fresh as it once was. Time heals wounds. The thing is, sometimes we think we’re healed, only to find that bitterness has dulled the pain, like a bandaid. I’ve been busy, and a lot has happened to me since January 14th and now, but I find that I’m using my busyness as an excuse not to take the time to let myself be soft. I promised myself that I would go deeper with God, and let myself cry. But both of those things have gone down in my list of priorities and that is not okay.

On January 14, I promised myself four things. Number three is the most important:

I want my faith in God to grow through this. It’s not an automatic process, it’ll take work. But already in the past few months (of coming to terms with the fact that this was ending), I have felt God’s love like never before, and it is completely unexplainable. And now I just want to go deeper, because I know God and I can.

know this stuff. But I don’t feel it anymore. And I haven’t let myself sit still long enough to be able to feel it.

So that’s my goal for this week>> To find shelter in God. Not songwriting. Not projects. Not social media. Not even good friends. I must bring myself to a desperate place in order to hear God. Because I’m desperate. Always. Even when things are going well in my life and even when I have fourteen different things on my ToDo list. No matter how high and mighty I ever feel, I am in desperate need of God’s unchanging grace.

Thank you Jesus.

What is your goal for this week? Comment below!

LOVE;

{/\ubry}

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